Why Can't I just be a quitter?

Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who says they are going to do something but then just decides not to. Unfortunately for me and and I guess fortunately for me I am not. I have signed up for many things that I wished before doing them I hadn't. Here are a few examples just in the last week- Taking both the girls (without Ren) and with a friend with 2 other small children to Seafair- INSANE, over committing to Hayden and her multitude of birthday parties in the last week, running after working 10 hour days. The last one is really the issue at this point in my life. I have committed to running before, and I actually enjoyed it and was so proud of myself after completing my first 13.1 miles. This time I am constantly having an internal struggle. The culprit- Oct 9th Victoria BC half marathon- 13.1 miles- again. With two small children, no free weekends due to a massive deck remodel, and the busiest time at work I am worn thin and annoyed I signed myself up for this. However, I said I would do it- I will do it. The problem is now I want to do it better than before. I want to complete it (which was my only goal last time) and beat my old time and do it all with way more on my plate, less time to train, and a general lack of will power. I am hoping by writing it down I will force myself to commit to my commitment. Running is the one thing I do all for me. Why I have such a hard time making the time for something that makes me feel so good at the finish I do not know. So today I am making it official that I will do this! and I will do it well because I said I would. I will stop my complaining and picture the finish line, remember the feeling of being proud of myself for something I did just for me. Plus this time at the finish line I get 2 little girls who look at me like this- doesn't get much better than that.